Every December, so many adult children make that familiar trip home. You excitedly grab a suitcase, pack the car and expect to walk into the house you remember…the same warmth, the same routines, the same version of Mom or Dad you have always known.
But every year I hear the same story. Someone goes home for the holidays and sees something they did not expect. A home that suddenly feels heavier. Rooms that are no longer used. Clutter that was not there the year before. A parent who seems overwhelmed but determined not to say it out loud.
That moment, the moment when home does not look or feel the way you remember, is what I call The Holiday Homecoming Wake Up Call. Is this normal? Should you be concerned? What can be done if anything? Are they OK to stay in their home?
Caring Transitions, a national downsizing and liquidation company, has created a clear list of signs to watch for during holiday visits. These are not meant to frighten anyone. They simply help families recognize changes early so small steps can be taken before stress or safety concerns grow.
CLUTTER AND BLOCKED PATHWAYS
When belongings make it hard to walk through the home, fall risks increase quickly. One in four adults over sixty five experiences a fall each year, and this is one of the most preventable risks we see.
UNUSED OR UNSAFE ROOMS
If entire areas of the home are avoided, it often means they feel overwhelming or unsafe to access. These spaces usually reveal where help is needed most.
SLIPPING HOME MAINTENANCE
Overgrown yards, broken fixtures, and neglected rooms tell a simple truth. Keeping the home up to its old standard has become too demanding. Nearly eighty percent of older adults say home maintenance becomes harder with age.
PILING MAIL AND PAPERWORK
Stacks of unopened mail or unpaid bills show that daily responsibilities are becoming unmanageable. This can quickly grow into unnecessary financial stress.
FAMILY STRESS AND CAREGIVER STRAIN
When you spend more time managing the home than enjoying time together, something has shifted. More than fifty three million Americans provide unpaid care, and many say home upkeep is one of their greatest challenges.
These signs can be hard to notice and even harder to talk about. When families ask me what to do next, I always point them to people who handle this with a level of compassion and skill that is rare in this field. I refer people to Caring Transitions Beach Cities and Mary Beth, who has helped so many families through exactly this situation.
Here is their Google profile if you want to see the work they do:
https://lnkd.in/g5anmbgk or go straight to their website here: https://www.ctlaoc.com/
It can be difficult to go home and realize things are not the way they used to be. Just know you do not have to navigate it alone. There are compassionate resources available, even if you live across the country. The path forward often begins with one simple phone call.
